The ever energetic and master self promoter Rev Jeremiah Wright announced today in Chicago that not only would he run but that he would be the next President of the United States.
While Rev. Wright’s announcement was a shock to everyone it does explain the round of public appearances that Rev Wright has recently made, such as the keynote speaker address before the NAACP convention and his red hot performance at the National Press Association event in Washington.
When asked what made him decide to run against Hillary Clinton, John McCain, and his long time former friend Barrack Obama Rev. Wright said that “God encouraged him to do it. And with God’s help I can not lose. No way. So one way or another you had better get used to a black man in the White House right now. And that black man will be me so help me God”.
When asked by stunned reporters what his first act in office would be the unflappable Rev. replied that “I will move the White House to where it should have been in the first place which is Chicago. Why should I have to move to the snake pit of Washington, D.C. when as President I can move the White House to any place that I please.”
When this was announced the reporters suddenly excused themselves and urgently ran to the bathrooms to throw up. The national press corp loves Washington. All their favorite bars are located there.
There are times when all does not go well for the TV talking heads and newscasters. Even the most highly regarded programs and the most famous announcers and presenters have their share of mishaps, some of them quite funny.
Here is a video of a few mishaps and misspeaks that the talking heads will likely remember for some time to come. It couldn’t happen to a more deserving group of people.
Wesley Snipes, Hollywood action movie star, says “what’s the big deal, it’s only money that is the issue” after being indicted for income tax evasion and sentenced to three years in prison.
Snipes acted like he wasn’t too disturbed by this terrible news as he was leaving the courthouse. Wesley said “I’ll probably learn some neat new tricks while serving my time and look forward to making many new friends. Three years is no sweat. I’ll be more famous and lethal than ever when I get out of the big house. I may even use by new knowledge to change my career and engage in a life of crime instead of going back into the Hollywood rat race. I wonder if the food is any good?”
It looks like the IRS wants to send a message to high profile people by going after Snipes so vigorously. According to FBI spokesman, William Hardass, Snipes thought that he was above the law and could stiff Uncle Sam for a few million dollars.
“Har! Har! I guess we showed him. It will only cost the government $300,000 to put him away for three years. We think we are doing the public a big favor as he won’t be able to make any lousy action movies during his time in prison. That will teach Snipes a lesson as it will cost Snipes millions. I never liked his movies anyhow. Too violent for me.
