Wesley Snipes Says What’s the Big Deal?

Wesley Snipes, Hollywood action movie star, says “what’s the big deal, it’s only money that is the issue” after being indicted for income tax evasion and sentenced to three years in prison.

Snipes acted like he wasn’t too disturbed by this terrible news as he was leaving the courthouse. Wesley said “I’ll probably learn some neat new tricks while serving my time and look forward to making many new friends. Three years is no sweat. I’ll be more famous and lethal than ever when I get out of the big house. I may even use by new knowledge to change my career and engage in a life of crime instead of going back into the Hollywood rat race. I wonder if the food is any good?”

It looks like the IRS wants to send a message to high profile people by going after Snipes so vigorously. According to FBI spokesman, William Hardass, Snipes thought that he was above the law and could stiff Uncle Sam for a few million dollars.

“Har! Har! I guess we showed him. It will only cost the government $300,000 to put him away for three years. We think we are doing the public a big favor as he won’t be able to make any lousy action movies during his time in prison. That will teach Snipes a lesson as it will cost Snipes millions. I never liked his movies anyhow. Too violent for me.

We hope to recover that money for the government when we attach everything that he owns or ever will own. We haven’t found any assets yet but we will just keep looking. We understand that he does have a gold tooth and that should be worth a few hundred bucks since gold has gone up so much recently.”

Wesley Snipes had no further comment other than to say that before reporting for his prison gig he was going to Las Vegas to shack up with a few girlfriends for a few days. He was fearful that his prison visits to come by his girlfriends would not be quite the same as staying in a suite at a five star hotel.

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